In my previous blog about Borderline Personality Disorder I went into detail about the causes and symptoms you can look for in yourself or someone you know. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) involves emotional instability, interpersonal difficulties and impulsive, often self-destructive, behaviors. People with BPD experience intense emotions and often distrust themselves and others, making relationships difficult for all involved. The underlying cause for BPD is believed to be an unstable or fractured sense of self. Please read that previous blog at bethandherbigdog.com
In this part, I really want to concentrate on positives and how to get the much-needed help a person will need. Notice I didn’t say “might” need but a person with BPD will absolutely need to get therapy and proper treatment to be able to live a healthy life.
First and foremost you have to get set up with a therapist who deals in Borderline Personality Disorder. The therapist needs to be strongly taught in Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) . This therapy focuses on the concept of mindfulness and mediation to help control the intense emotions that BPD’s go through.
I also have some really helpful books to read on your time while in therapy.
Overcoming the negative thought processes..
Part of living with BPD is having to overcome your own thought process of negtive thinking. Remember BPD usually orginates from tramua. So when going through that tramua it changes the thought processes and chemical makeup in the brain especially if the tramua is long term. In therapy they are able to assist in overcoming negative self talk that interferes with living a full and happy life.
We all have an inner critic. This critic can be helpful at times such as telling us we need to eat healthier instead of that candy bar. However, this little voice can often be more harmful than helpful especially when it gets into the realm of negative self talk.
Those who find themselves frequently engaging in negative self-talk tend to be more stressed. This is in large part due to the fact that their reality is altered to create an experience where they don’t have the ability to reach the goals they’ve set for themselves. In BPD this is taken to the extreme. Someone with BPD once told me that if we (person without BPD) is upset with something minor, say a 4 on a scale of 1-10. A BPD person has already reached 50. Most people will see a BPD as overreacting to the situation however, for them it really that upsetting.
- First, learn all you can about Borderline Personality Disorder.
- Encourage Professional help and understand treatment.
- Focus on the emotions, NOT the words.
- Show you appreciate your loved one.
- Be prepared for mixed messages.
- Understand that it is not their fault (you are dealing with someone who has a disorder).
- Take suicide seriously.
- Try to make the person with BPD feel heard.
- Don’t have a conversation with they are upset but wait until things are calm.
- Set healthy boundaries.
Finally, I would like to explain that the very definition of personality disorders as “chronic maladaptive patterns of behavior” implies that symptoms are stable over time; however, recent studies indicate that symptoms improve and may even completely remit over the years.Does this mean these disorders can go away? Yes and no. That is why learning all you can to help your loved one is a priority. This is a family disorder not just a individual issue.
Thank you for reading. I hope you found it helpful and if you would like to see more on this disorder please feel free to let me know.